Begin with an ordinary hello
Greetings give families a small, familiar place to practice choice about touch. Ask “Would you like a hug?” before moving closer and wait for an answer. Friendship or family membership does not make every touch welcome. Kennedy Krieger Institute discusses respecting personal space and avoiding pressure to show affection; shared time can express warmth too.
Make a no easy to give and receive
Try “No hug today” and answer “Okay.” Do not bargain, demand an explanation or ask repeatedly until the answer changes. Silence or an unclear answer is not permission to touch. A child can wave, speak, point or choose no greeting right now. Adults can help a child communicate while keeping the choice with that child.
Support the rule with relatives
Before a visit, tell adults that your child will choose their greeting. If a relative expects a kiss, model “They are waving today.” Keep the response warm and clear rather than asking the child to manage an adult’s disappointment. Do not turn bodily choice into a reward for politeness. A child can be kind while declining physical affection.
Practice changing your mind
An earlier yes can become a no. During pretend play, model “I wanted a high-five, but now I want to stop.” Stop immediately. A child should not need a persuasive reason. Help them seek a trusted adult if someone ignores their answer. Urgent safety actions and necessary care need age-appropriate explanation; a greeting exercise is not a complete safeguarding plan.
Respect differences in communication
Some children need longer to answer or use signs, pictures or a device. Give time and offer a clear way to decline. Do not require eye contact as evidence of agreement. Adults remain responsible for safe interactions; these activities do not place the burden of preventing harm on the child. Seek qualified safeguarding help when there are concerns about an actual situation.
Try it together
Try a greeting menu
- Draw a wave, a spoken hello and a high-five. Add “none right now.” Any touch needs both people to agree.
- Let your child choose first, and respond without bargaining. Take turns choosing different greetings.
- Practice hearing “no” with hands resting at your sides. Offer an alternative only if the other person wants one.
- Practice changing your mind and stopping. Finish by thanking each other for making the choice clear.
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Sources and how this guide was made
Prepared for LifeQuest Kids with AI assistance and checked against the linked sources. The family examples and activities are original. No professional review, affiliation or endorsement is claimed. Published and sources accessed 1 October 2026.